David Gillon

 So I woke up this morning, swung my legs out of bed and went "Oh, shit!" because there was a bruise just above my right knee the size of my fist and it hadn't been there when I went to sleep.

Then I looked at it again, rubbed at it, licked my finger and went "bugger", because it was the kind of bruise that scrapes off and tastes of chocolate.

A search of the bedclothes turned up two halves of a chocolate digestive, neither with much of the chocolate left - which is I suppose better than finding an entire chocolate digestive reduced to crumbs.

The perils of midnight snacking!

I went back to bed this afternoon because I'd had an allergy attack and was feeling generally grotty. At one point I realised I was dozing off, and my glasses were lying on the bed beside me, so I picked them up and put them on the bedside table. Later on my sister called over Alexa (which is in the other room), so I shouted I'd be there in a minute and grabbed up my glasses, at which point the comment was "Oh, %&$!!!", because the right leg was sticking up at an angle. (Comment from my sister "You said a naughty word!").

My initial thought was to leave them and take them into the optician's next week to see if they could do anything, but they started giving me a headache later on, probably because they're varifocals and you need to adapt to the way they sit on your nose. So I very slowly and very gingerly bent the leg back to where it was supposed to be. And amazingly I seem to have succeeded.

Me earlier.

I need coffee. Where's my coffee mug?
Oh, there it is on the floor by the sofa.
On its side, with its complete contents from last night (mocha, so nice and gooey) spread out all over the carpet next to it

Fortunately it lifted after some vigorous scrubbing with a damp towel, but if I thought I'd needed cofffee before that....

The only positive in this is it pooled next to the two external drive also sitting there, not in them,