David Gillon

 My problems with anxiety seem to have finally passed the threshold at which I'm more anxious about not doing something, than I am about doing something about them - the final straw being that I'm finding it impossible to send out submissions of the #Pitchwars novel to agents, or even effectively research them.

So I've got a doctor's appointment booked for tomorrow, at which the intention was to raise this and say I need help, but unfortunately I think I'm going to have to use it for something else (I've picked  up a physical infection that isn't getting any better, plus we're supposed to be doing a drug review) but I'll mention what my intention was and arrange a further appointment.

So the intention is to talk about the anxiety and:
Emphasise that I think it's secondary to being neurodiverse - and that may be a discussion all on its own as I don't think they realise I am.
That I think it's gotten worse post bullying by Evil Aerospace / Atos / DWP and constantly being on trial for being disabled.
That it's stopping me applying for benefits I should be entitled to/following up on things like wheelchair assessments the surgery have asked me to do, renewing Blue Badge etc.
That trying to deal with finances is causing panic attacks
That I'm catastrophizing over pretty much everything.
And so on.

I'm mostly thinking aloud here, both to organise myself and make it more difficult to back out, but if anyone has any thoughts on things that should be mentioned under ' and so on', or on strategies to take or avoid, then chiming in would be very welcome.

I'm not sure this coming home to get a rest from family trauma over Dad's stroke is working.

So many damned errands to run, without any time to handle being stressed by them.

Still need to sort out train back North, pick up repeat prescription, work through a fortnight's mail, do something about wheelchair assessment problem, and probably other stuff I'm forgetting, all by Wednesday, then catch train North on Thursday and the trauma starts again.

I think I'm going to try and nap now, which inevitably means my mother or sister will ring as soon as I doze off.