It's dead, Jim

Called out the AA* given my car wouldn't start and my battery appeared utterly flat, even though I've been trying to make certain I start it up and turn the engine over for ten minutes once a week. AA guy got it jump-started. but his tester pronounced the battery seriously dodgy, and I wasn't willing to rely on it given my current dependence on click & collect slots for food, so off he went to pick me up a new one.

He also sold me an in-car solar charging panel to try and keep new battery healthy by trickle-charging it. He says it probably isn't able to charge it enough to start the car from, but might keep a depleted battery alive. Given I'm killing a battery roughly every 18 months to 2 years, and it was a quarter of the price of a new battery, it seemed like a reasonable bet to take.

He commented that he's getting a tremendous number of callouts for dead batteries at the moment, which probably isn't too surprising, given the current situation. More surprising, and much more useful, he noted that just turning your engine over on the street or your drive isn't enough, not even if you do it for 10 minutes, and may ultimately be harming the battery by depleting its charge below healthy levels. Apparently you really need to take it out for a drive instead - among other things because the fan will kick in much sooner without airflow past the engine, and will eat a substantial part of the charge that would be going into the battery if you were moving. When I mentioned this on FB a friend linked me to an RAC** page saying much the same https://www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/driving-advice/coronavirus-covid-19-answering-drivers-questions/

And now I'm utterly knackered, partly from not sleeping well for two nights, but probably also from standing for longer than I'm used to while talking to AA guy. I may not make it past 10PM at this rate.

Oh, and got the confirmation I'm definitely in the ONS Covid-19 survey, they'll ring to book an appointment for the first session in a day or two.

* The Automobile Association, one of the two main roadside assistance firms

** The Royal Automobile Club, the other one.