*headdesk* In which the Internet of Things in a pain

I needed to print something today, for the first time in ages. So I pressed print on the document, and nothing happened

"Printer offline" says the computer.

So I look at the printer, which cheerfully asserts it is actually online.

However, under further prodding the printer admits it is unable to print. Or more specifically "Cannot print, go to www.hpinstantink.com"

At which point I get at least an idea of the problem. There's nothing wrong with the printer, but I did sign up to HPs instant ink service - pay us monthly, we'll send you new ink cartridges before you run out - back when I first got the printer and when I was doing more printing than I am at the moment and it looked as if it would save me money. (I'm not, it hasn't, I'd forgotten about it).

But looking at the instant ink site, there's nothing to actually clarify the problem, or what to do with it.

Googling the error message, OTOH, suggests this happens if there is a billing problem.

So now I need to log into Instant Ink, and I can't remember username or password. I'm fairly certain they're actually scrawled on the printer documentation if I could be bothered to find that. But I'm also pretty certain I can guess them, OTOH it'll be easier if I get HP to tell me my username first via the forgotten username function. First email address for reply, it denies all knowledge of, second one works, but it's the one I can't get access to any more, at which point I realise what happened, and what username and password will be.

I log in, and yes, it's been trying to tell me there's a problem with my billing, but sending it to an obsolete email address.

There's been a problem with my billing since March, when my bank decided there was a physical issue with my card and issued me a new one and I completely forgot to update HP. Sods law says HP finally decided to address the billing problem by stopping me printing less than a fortnight ago, with today the first time I've needed to physically print something since March.

Note that this is effectively ink I've already paid for they're stopping me using.

I need to cancel Instant Ink, but I've got a few things I need to print first, and if they stop me printing with the ink in the machine at that point I'll be stuck until I can get new ink cassettes, so it'll have to date.

So I've updated things, and now I'm waiting to see if the printer resets itself.

Grrr.